DO YOU NEED FRIENDS? (A guide to help you choose the friends you NEED.)

 

Friends, that set of persons we hang out with.
Friends, that group of people we chat with online.
Friends, the ones we walk to class with.
Friends, those persons we call when weary or in need.
Friends, those who glue a smile to our lips.
Friends, the ones we care for.
Friends, the ones we celebrate with.
Friends, the people we cry with.
Friends, the ones we can fight for.
Friends, the ones we fight and make up with.

Of course you need such persons. They are the flavor of life. You are not an island. You need people around to cheer you up when the chips are down. You need people to distract you from the troubles in life. You need friends to motivate you to achieve your dreams.

Going into the university I had one thing in my mind. I was set to change my solitary life. I wanted to have those girlfriends I can hang out with. I wanted to have those friends I can paint their nails and go shopping with. Those beautiful girls I would take selfies with. I just wanted to change the notion people had of me as not being friendly or sociable. Maybe you understand what I mean.

Now two years in the university I can count nothing much as a progress in that aspect.
I don’t have those ‘ride or die girls’. I don’t have those girls to hang out with on a Saturday afternoon. I go shopping mostly alone. I have human contact though. Now and then I catch myself wondering why I have lived this way.

Some weeks back I had someone solve this puzzle for me. And now I will tell you what truth he made me see.

I was told fairly that I very much need friends. I was pointed to the story in the Bible where David’s friendship with Jonathan helped save his life. I got to know of people who died out of depression and loneliness.
‘But you need someone who is much like you’ I was told. Someone who is ready to rise with you. Someone who has dreams similar to yours. Someone who does not seek to derail you from your path of being successful. Someone to advice you with love pouring from his mouth.

I was told that being solitary is not bad. It means that you have not found the ‘ones’ and you are not ready to trade your dreams for a group of people.
I did not find anyone who was quite like me. I did not find anyone who loves activities I love. I did not find anyone who loves the 80’s music. I did not find many who will prefer seating into the night digging into books to sleeping or partying.
Birds of a feather flock together they say. I do not expect an eagle and a parrot to fly to a place. In that manner I do not expect someone who has a different view of what life is to be with me who has a different perspective of life.

 

To make the right decision of who to befriend answer these questions honestly.

– [ ] Does she/he love you in your natural state without you having to change to blend in?
– [ ] Does he/she like activities you like?
– [ ] Does she/he motivate you to be a better version of you?
– [ ] Does she/he genuinely care about your future?
– [ ] Does he/she support your ideas and works?
– [ ] Does he/she believe in your abilities and God given talents?
– [ ] Is he/she ready to stick with you even when you disappear to achieve something ?

 

Remember, your parents are your friends. Your sisters, brothers and relatives are ready to perform best friend duties with you.They are there to help you, to see you through hard times and rejoice with you. Do not ever think of cutting them off. After all who will understand you better if not someone who has watched you grow.
Try joining a community, an organization or church group which focuses on your interest. Make a family out of them and you may find someone like you.

If you still find it hard to get an outsider to be a friend worry not. Do not feel something is wrong with you (Although check yourself to be sure you are a nice person with a sound character ).

Smile, lend a helping hand to those in need.
Keep your grind alive.
Be successful.
And see them come around in numbers wishing to dine with you.

 

N. B. I wrote this for me, my siblings, for those are battling with keeping the right set of friends and for persons who feel like no one wants them as a friend.

 

You are the BEST 💞.

Leave a comment below so I know what you think.
Thanks for reading.